These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things
Glass Enclosure Mania; Part I
My Greenhouse, Solarium, and Art Studio Cacoëthes1
Picture Julie Andrews singing;2
Old wood framed windows and plenty of light
Stained glass and silly things I like to write
Building on ideas and creative springs
These are a few of my favorite things
Stolen from Rodgers & Hammerstein and mangled by me
How do, cherished Readers and Stacklings,
Those familiar with Neoteric Wood Art are aware of my sinister conspiracy to beautify the world by turning discarded relics into art. But you may not be hip to my other demented ideas, and since there has been an influx of new subscribers, it’s high time I brought everyone up to speed on my other subversive plot, and that is to crash the job market of the Landfill-Industrial Complex!3
Big Garbage
My fiendish scheme is to make glass enclosures from the tactical use of old wood framed windows like the ones pictured above. I fear for my safety each time I build one of these as I know Big Garbage is losing Big Money, to make matters worse, when people grow their own food in their own greenhouse, it makes Big Ag very sad. But I fear not, old Lizard King in your Taylor Swift skin-suit, I buy tinfoil by the pallet!
⋆͛*͛ ͙͛ ⁑͛⋆͛*͛ ͙͛ (•﹏•^) ⋆͛*͛ ͙͛ ⁑͛⋆͛*͛ ͙͛
You: What's he raving about?
Stay with me, I have a point. In order to show everyone these rare feats of engineering achievement, I have gathered three out of fourteen of these projects with more to come in future posts. On this page I share a brief description and backstory of each project to confirm your suspicions of just how unhinged I am and what my endearing wife endures.
Beginning in no particular order:
Bonsai House
The Bonsai House was a commission for an arborist who grows miniature trees and shrubs. We met at a Recycled Arts show in 2017 where he and his wife shared this funny story. They had just built a new home in Dallas, Oregon and had 30 years hence purchased an expensive full-length glass panel door with the goal of eventually installing it in their new home as a symbol of their achievement.
On that fateful day when it came for installation, they were told “No!” by the building inspector. “It isn’t thermal-pane and therefore illegal to install.” said the mean inspector who then went home, peeled off his own skin-suit and ate live crickets in his terrarium. In fairness, I think he was probably passed over for high-school hall monitor.
So they asked me if I could install it in a greenhouse, my immediate answer was to blurt out what I was thinking and say, “Yessiree Bob!”
Welp, turns out the door is full-sized. With the jamb it measured 84” tall and 36” wide and couldn’t be cut down due to the whole thing being glass, so in, it had to go. Now even with a moderately sloped roof, it became an incredible 11’-6” tall greenhouse! It also had some vintage beveled glass windows on either side of the door to make it really sweet. But that was only the beginning of my troubles.
(NOTE: All of these enclosures are built to be collapsed and fit in the back of a normal American 8’ long truck bed). After the two months it took to complete building it at home, I loaded everything in my pickup and got part way down the road when the truck kacked out. Dead. So, at great expense, I had to offload tools and everything and rent one of these pretend trucks with a 6’ bed. The next day we left very early and spent all morning driving the 200 plus miles to put it in place to try and beat the scorching hot temperature forecast that day.
Oh, did I mention it was the middle of August and Hot As Hell?
Ψ(`_´ )↝
Then another disaster. In the high heat, one of the complex beams critical for completion, split down the middle leaving me unable to finish the job. I had no choice but to make a second trip! We drove the entire three and a half hours back home, I made another piece, then drove all the way back the next morning. Late that evening as the sun went down, we finished assembling it and returned home sunburned, burnt out and losing any money I may have realized. Kathie’s help was tremendous an there is no way I could have done all this without her, and she didn’t complain to bitterly about the whole affair - at the time.
Click on any image to view full size
Rep. Sharon Wylie Art Studio
The same Recycled Arts show found another person interested, fortunately she lived in close proximity. Enter Washington State Representative Sharon Wylie of Vancouver. She likes to paint in her spare time to relieve the stress of spending other peoples money, so the prospect of using one of my glass enclosures as an art studio sounded like a great idea. She also had a special request in the form of an 8-panel stained glass window her sister made but, as an amateur craftsperson, she failed to add a stiffening rod which made it as flimsy as al dente pasta.
What is NOT flimsy is the structure. Despite having no internal frame, it is as tight as a drum. Look closely, there are no studs, zero. There are no big beams other than the two that carry the roof windows. The walls are not screwed together and no glue or binder was used to keep the windows standing end-to-end. The secret will be explained in greater detail on Part II, but it isn’t dissimilar to how Lego®’s work.
It took me most the summer of 2018 to make this one, in between making frames for Marvelous Mosaic of Kory Dollar. After this one went up, the sniffles went down and nothing has been the same, including the Recycled Arts Festival. It was held annually at Esther Short Park, Vancouver, Washington and was one of the best examples of how to make free-market recycling work. Sadly, it has ceased to be.
(´;︵;`)
Because everything is stacked together, the entire thing can be disassembled and reassembled in a few hours. In order to raise awareness of these we would set up Friday evening for the weekend at the festival and take it apart Sunday evening. A lot of work for sure, but when you’re a crazy person, no work seems hard, just another obstacle to be overcome.
Note; if you are reading this in your email and it tails off abruptly, kindly click on the title above to be taken to the full article.
Mosaic Art Studio
Mosaic Artist Laurie Essig-Schwab commissioned this moderately sized studio for the purpose of capturing as much natural light in the corner of her patio whilst keeping a low profile so as to not interfere with the architectural purity of the home. Located in Salem, Oregon, this one went smoothly and was pretty much installed over two days but I had to go back as she kept adding more options, such as a vinyl covered floor, power, a workbench and flashing.
Laurie is a very accomplished artist with loads of examples scattered around this Substack somewhere. The above image was taken whilst standing on a ladder overlooking the fence, the below images were sent me after she ”moved in”.
If you enjoy what you just read, please, pretty please hit the ‘like’ button so I may get some notice above all the oceans of talent here on ‘The Stack’.
ヽ(•‿•)ノ
Got something on your mind? Then why don’t you…
Next post will include more of the list below, and perhaps others not shown. We shall see:
A Branches & Blossoms Greenhouse
٩◔̯◔۶
Cacoëthes, Mania: an insatiable desire | Note: Use of the word in the sense "insatiable desire" is largely dependent on an oft-quoted line by the Roman satirist Juvenal: "tenet insanabile multos scribendi cacoethes" ("the incurable disease of writing takes hold of many").
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream-colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells, and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things-- Julie Andrews
Rodgers & Hammerstein
Disclaimer: In case there was any doubt, I use a lot of SATIRE and unequivically state the following:
NO - I do not believe in lizard people
NO - I’m not trying to subvert anything
NO - I do not fear for my safety from Big Garbage
For some people you just have to overstate the obvious.
Another fun chapter to read about your note worthy accomplishments! As always, you leave me feeling I can’t wait to read the next one.
Beautiful work, Dave! It is always such a pleasure to look at your creations.